One of those days...

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Yesterday was one of those days as a mother. You know the ones. You say "Don't touch that" or "Stop climbing on that," "No no," and "Please stop touching that!," a million times in a matter of minutes and to no avail. Your determined almost-9-month-old daughter crawls back to those entertainment center doors, stops to smirk at you, and continues to pull the DVD's out one by one at turbo speed until you can grab her and pull her away from them.

She cries. And throws a fit. And then she moves onto the next thing she shouldn't be doing so you can repeat the process all over again. 

She's clingy... all. day. long. And while it's nice to know that she loves her momma and wants your constant attention, it makes it nearly impossible to get anything done. And somehow, these days when she's a "Velcro baby" only seem to come around when your to-do list is a million miles long.

At 8:00, bedtime finally comes around and she fights you to get to sleep. You wonder if you can possibly last another minute listening to her whines and fussiness, wonder if you can control your temper as she tries relentlessly to squirm out of your arms while you try with all your might to rock her to sleep. And suddenly, as if she knows you've almost reached your breaking point, she drifts off. She slumps into your chest as you wait for a burp and you kiss her head before you lay her down to sleep for the night. You breathe a sigh of relief that the day is over, even though you feel guilty that you should be cherishing these days - because they are already coming and going much too fast.

The trend of the day continues throughout the night. She wakes up multiple times until you finally give in and pull her into bed with you. Snuggled in-between her mommy and daddy, she continues to squirm and wiggle, punch and kick in her sleep; causing you and your husband to get little to no rest.

The next day, the alarm goes off at 6:15, forcing you to start the day much sooner than you would like. You feed her a morning bottle and by the grace of God, you both fall back asleep until 8:00, two hours past her normal wake-up time. She wakes up happy and spends the morning reading her books and playing with her toys while you get to enjoy your morning cup of coffee start to finish without it getting cold. You soak in the quiet moments and brace yourself for another day.

Much to your surprise, the morning is spent with smiles and innocent playtime, and your daughter is quiet for the entire duration of your client call, peacefully watching Baby Einsteins and playing in her exersaucer for 30 minutes straight. She eats her breakfast without fuss and without mess -- and doesn't even try to grab for the spoon while you fed her, which is almost unheard of these days.

After breakfast, she starts getting a little fussy, so you carry her downstairs and close the curtains in her room while you rock her to sleep. It only takes 1 ounce of her bottle to get her to drift off, and she turns into you as you sing to her, closing her eyes and falling into a deep slumber.

Now, listening to her breaths on the monitor, with your candle burning and Etta James playing in your office upstairs, getting ready to tackle the rest of your work for the day, you can't help but wonder if she knew you would need a day like this. A day full of smiles and "hi"'s and kisses from your baby girl - the sweet little lady who challenges you and captures your heart simultaneously. The strong-willed, stubborn daughter you love more and more with each passing day. 

You stop to reflect and wonder if maybe those not-so-good days only come around to remind us to really, truly appreciate the good ones. Maybe they need to happen to make us realize just how good we have it. Or maybe they happen just because that's life,  and your job as a mother isn't meant to be perfect or easy or anything like what you see in the magazines (or on Pinterest). Your job as a mother is hard.

Your children will get messy. You'll forget to put them in their special Memorial Day outfits and instead you will spend your afternoon playing in the dirt and trying to keep them from eating it. You will cry out of frustration after a long day and feel guilty from time to time for not making your child laugh enough. For saying too many "No"'s and too few "I love you"'s.

But then a new day will come, and you will have the chance to start over and make it a good one. Because no matter what you were faced with or how defeated you felt the day before, you are a good mommy, and your baby loves you. And you're reminded by those gummy smiles and slobbery, open-mouthed kisses, that as trying and exhausting as it may be sometimes, this motherhood gig is the best and most rewarding job title you will ever have. And despite it all, it's 110% worth it.

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