Appreciating the NOW.

{via Pinterest}

Latley, I’ve been down and out with an extreme case of Baby Fever. It didn’t take long for it to hit me (seriously – we haven’t even been married a full Kardashian yet); and it’s been making me crazy. Emotional, irritable, grumpy, and overall leaving me feeling very “bleh.”

I feel like everywhere I look, I'm seeing babies. Diaper ads bombarding my Facebook, friends posting pictures of their adorable little ones, and to make matters worse, my aunt and one of my best friends just brought two beautiful baby boys into the world on Monday. Seriously, people. I’m just gunna need you to stop reproducing and shuvving your precious babies in my face. It’s torture.

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OK, bringing it back. The whole point of this is to admit that baby fever has been making it extremely difficult to appreciate life in the now.

With that, I realize that I desperately need to kick this fever in the face and start realizing everything I do have rather than longing for more. I am so blessed with an incredible loving husband, a warm home, a good job, and an amazing family. I can, and will, be satisfied with that.

I know deep down that right now probably isn’t the best time to bring a little Gill into the world. Between searching for a teaching job for Luke and debating on whether or not we will need to relocate to do so, we don’t even know where we’ll end up in the next year. Not to mention the fact that seriously, Sammi… you haven’t even been married three whole months. Get it together. Get. It. Together. 

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I need to stop searching. I have everything I need. I need to let it be. “Let go and Let God,” as they say. I need to count my blessings and praise God for Luke, for our own little family, just us. This is the life I’ve always wanted. We’re young. We’re in love. We have nothing holding us back. That’s an incredible thing.

Someday, I can only pray that God will bless us with a little one of our own. And I know that when that time comes, we will both be overwhelmed with happiness, and we'll snuggle and cuddle and love that little one with all of our hearts. But that someday isn’t right now. And it isn't 9 months from now. And I need to come to terms with the fact that that’s completely, entirely OK.

For now, just us is more than enough.