January 16, 2012

Last year on this day, I was suffering through my 14th consecutive day of what I was certain was the plague. It was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, and Luke and I were both stuck at work. I was struggling to make it through my morning at the office, downing blue Gatorade and Tums, and counting down the seconds to 5:00 so I could get home to my pajamas and the couch.

At around 10:30 AM, my phone rang, and it was the gynecologist office. I had an appointment that Thursday prior, and I answered the phone expecting to hear that I had an abnormality on my pap smear, a UTI, or that something was terribly wrong. Little did I know, that phone call would change my entire life.

"We got your bloodwork back, and... turns out, you are pregnant! Congratulations – is this your first?"

Holy. Crap.

Tears immediately welled up in my eyes. I'm pretty sure I was in a minor state of shock at that point when I answered the nurse on the other end. Yes, it is. What do I do next?

Because I had some slight bleeding (what I thought was my period...TMI?) a few weeks back, we scheduled an ultrasound for the following week, but she assured me that it was most likely perfectly normal. I got a pit in my stomach thinking of everything I had done over the past few weeks not knowing I was pregnant (FYI... I took THREE pregnancy tests, one of which was taken at the doctors office a week before this. All three came back negative) – drinking homemade Bailey's at Christmas, drinking wine at Luke's birthday party, taking medicine for what I thought was the stomach flu, etc. etc.

After I scheduled the appointment, I hung up the phone and retreated to the bathroom. I cried tears of joy, and of fear, and I tried my best to compose myself until I could leave for my lunch break. Two hours later.

I wanted to call Luke, my mom, my sister, my dad, anyone to tell them the news. It was so hard not to shout it from the rooftops, but I bit my tongue and kept it to myself. I knew that this wasn't the type of news that you share over the phone, so I went to the store instead of picking up the phone, and bought our baby (our baby!) "it's" very first outfit and a fancy little gift bag to give to Luke that night. I texted him and told him I had a surprise for him, and I watched as the clock moved as slow as can be until 5:00.

I couldn't get home fast enough that night. My hour-long commute felt like it took days, and I was shaking with nervous excitement as I pulled into the driveway and walked in the door.

(*Side story here: A few days before this, Luke's step mom had given us a baby outfit, "for someday," that she received from one of her friends at work. I cried on our bed with a serious case of baby fever that night.)

When I walked in the door, Luke was standing in the kitchen. I gave him the bag with the baby clothes in it, and he opened it and said "Who the hell gave you these?," thinking it was yet another person who was cramming baby things down our throats! (How romantic! Haha.) I proceeded to tell him that I got a phone call that morning, and as soon as he realized what was going on, he hugged me tighter than I had ever been hugged before. There we stood in the kitchen – tears flowing, completely terrified, and over-the-moon excited about this little life that we created!

The first photo of a tiny little bump:

My first of many letters to Marleigh:

Dear baby,

Today I got the call that you exist. I hope you’re safe and healthy and growing big and strong! You’ve sure been making mommy very sick the past couple weeks, but that’s ok – you’re worth it. I’m so happy you’re in my belly, but I’m also really nervous. I hope you’re healthy and growing exactly as you should be. I can’t wait to go home and tell your daddy about you tonight! He’s going to be so happy; and scared… but mostly happy! I sure hope we’re ready for you. Our tiny little blessing. I love you so much already and I can’t wait to see you on the ultrasound screen next week! I will be praying for you and thinking about you every second of every day. I love you, Baby Gill!


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It's crazy to think that an entire year has passed already since I got that wonderful, life-changing phone call. Every day for the past 365 days, I have thanked God for the miracle he has blessed us with... and I will continue to thank Him all the days of my life!

1 comment:

  1. What a great story. Reading these always makes me tear up a little bit. :) How exciting to see that everything turned out wonderfully!