Embracing the seasons
When I woke up this morning and checked the weather forecast, I was thrown into a slight state of depression when the number "5" came across my phone. 5 degrees, a single digit, with a "real feel" temperature of -15. Frigid, freezing cold.
More than anything, I wished that I could stay home with my husband and our little girl cozied up by our fireplace watching movies all day. Instead, I dragged my sleepy self out of bed and got ready for work. Luke kissed me goodbye when he left, and I got Marleigh bundled up for our morning commute.
As I walked outside to start my car, the cold air hit me, and I struggled a bit to catch my breath. I let out a sigh, opened my car door, put the key in the ignition and cranked up the heat. I grabbed Marleigh a few minutes later once the car had some time to warm up a bit, buckled her in to her car seat, gave her a binky, and tucked her in with a warm fleece blanket.
Driving to work, I paid special attention to the wet marks on the road – being careful to avoid them when I could, in fear of black ice. I used my wiper fluid liberally, annoyed as the slush from the vehicles in front of me made its way onto my windshield. I glanced in my rearview mirror to check on Marleigh, and found her sound asleep clutching her "Sophie". I turned the music down and smiled to myself, but I couldn't ignore the pit in my stomach, wishing I didn't have to pluck her from her warm house and comfy jammies every morning while I spent my days at the office.
I collected my thoughts, remembered that I am doing this for her, and tried to turn my mood around. I tried to stop letting the sunshine of my day get overshadowed by the small clouds. I have a good job. I am able to help provide for my family. Marleigh gets to spend her days with her Mimi, who loves her almost as much as I do. She has a mommy and daddy who love each other so much. We are healthy, and we are blessed.
I gave myself a few minutes then looked again at the precious little girl sleeping in her car seat, cozy in her owl hat, and my once heavy heart was filled with joy.
Sometimes we all need take a second to embrace the current seasons in life. For me, lately, it is especially important to remember that those seasons – whether they're terrible, or wonderful, or an odd mix of both – are constantly changing. While it may be cold today, the winds of change are on the horizon, waiting for the perfect time to blow in.
Until then, all we can do is crank the heat, brew some cocoa, and welcome the snow as it falls, the temperature as it drops. Because this season? This wintry mix of happy and sad and hopeful and anxious? This season is perfect in its own peculiar way, and I know deep down that wonderful things are in the forecast for me.