It's no secret that a woman's body goes through some extreme things when she's pregnant. Growing a human being is no easy task. First, we start with a growing "chest area." Husbands, you love this part, but don't get too excited. It hurts, and having to go up two cup sizes in a matter of 6 months is just completely ridiculous. But I digress. Then, the belly begins. This is, surprisingly, my most favorite change of all. I may be weird, but I love watching my bump grow from day to day, week to week, month to month. It means our baby girl is healthy and growing, and the bigger my stomach gets, the closer we are to having her here with us! Then, as the time goes on, we get to the really stupid parts. The swollen feet and hands, the chubbier-than-before cheeks, the increase of hair (plucking your eyebrows should not be necessary every single week), the sore ribs every single day, the achey back after just a few minutes of walking, the getting up multiple times throughout the night to go to the bathroom... and the list goes on.
Please don't get me wrong. I honestly do love being pregnant. Most days, I feel surprisingly good about myself and my appearance, and I enjoy the responsibility of taking care of this tiny life inside of me. But for every great and wonderful thing that pregnancy brings, it also brings a few insecurities. And lately, those insecurities have been surfacing. I look at our weekly pictures and see a noticeable change in my appearance (not just the obvious belly), and I start picking myself apart. My arms are big. My hair looks ugly. My eyes look tired. My smile looks dull.
I don't like the way I look.
I think every woman feels this way about themselves at some point, even when they're not pregnant. But for some reason, be it pregnancy hormones or exhaustion or both, my self confidence has been taking a major hit lately.
So... what's a girl to do in times like these? It's simple, really. First, I need to take a step back. I need to realize that this is not all about me. It's about my daughter; and the changes my body is going through are nothing compared to what hers is doing in there. I need to realize that I was made for this. My body is meant to go through these things. This is all completely normal, and it's OK to feel this way sometimes.
Then, I need to pull myself together and get out of the funk that I'm in. I need to take a day to pamper myself. Get some highlights in my hair, get my eyebrows waxed, spend an entire day dedicated to me... whatever that entails.
And, most importantly, I need to stop for a minute and count my blessings. I have a healthy baby. An amazing husband. A wonderful family. All the things I need to be happy are all around (and inside) me. I can't and won't let myself forget that!
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Baby girl,
I would go through these changes, good and bad, a million times over if it meant having you in my life. I can't wait for you to get here so I can look at your tiny little face and look back at these times and laugh at how silly I am being. You are worth any and all stretch marks, weight gain, bad hair days, and sleepless nights in the world. I love you with my whole heart and then some.
Love,
Mommy
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{*please note that I am NOT searching for compliments or pick-me-ups here. I'm just a mommy to be going through some hormonal imbalances, and needed an outlet to vent my feelings. I will, however, take any suggestions on ways to improve my recent issues, so feel free to fire away!}
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