I'm going to start this post off with a warning: what follows is a jumbled, unorganized mess of thoughts that have been racing through my brain as of late.
First off, have you seen this picture? Maybe I'm biased, but I'm fairly certain Marleigh has the cutest little nose I've ever seen in my life! We had a surprise 3D ultrasound yesterday at our appointment to check on my placenta previa, and got to see baby girl's face looking more like a baby and less like an alien for the first time! I think I've probably looked at this picture about 300 times already. This little lady has definitely stolen my heart.
Speaking of my placenta previa, it corrected itself! Hallelujah! I honestly wasn't too concerned about it in the first place, but I'm really glad that my body did what it was supposed to do and fixed itself since our last appointment. I'm kind of sad, however, that this means we probably won't get another chance to see Marleigh on the ultrasound screen anymore. I'm going to miss watching her wiggling around and practicing her breathing and getting the hiccups, but it just builds the excitement that the next time we see her, we'll be really seeing her – up close and personal! Also, on one hand, I'm really excited that now I have the opportunity to have a natural childbirth.. but on the other, I'm really terrified that I might have a natural childbirth! The thought of scheduling a c-section and knowing what I was in for was somewhat soothing to me. I guess I am going to have to adjust my personality to the best of my abilities and accept the fact that this is one event that I have no control over!
I know I've said this before, and I'll probably say it a million times once she is born, but I am so thankful every day for this baby girl. I love her dances in the mid-afternoon, and love that her daddy and I spend time every night before bed feeling and watching her kicks together. I even loved it when she woke me up at 3:15 in the morning with crazy karate moves for an hour straight, even though it means that I'm completely exhausted today! She must just be preparing me for all the sleepless nights to come.
When I was awake feeling her kicks last night/this morning, I wasn't thinking about how tired I was or how I wished I could just fall back asleep. I was feeling her kicks and laughing to myself thinking about what she was doing in there, and thinking about how amazing it will be in three months when I am woken up by baby cries instead of wiggles. I was picturing myself picking her up out of her bassinet (because let's face it, she'll be sleeping in our room until she's 20) and going into the kitchen with her to make her bottle. I pictured myself sitting in bed with her daddy, staring at her beautiful little face as we sing and rock her back to sleep. I can't wait to spend those precious moments together as a family.
I guess what it comes down to is that I am feeling really overwhelmed with happiness and gratefulness as we make our way closer to the arrival of our daughter. Our daughter. This precious little human that we created. It's so amazing and so humbling. I can't wait to see what these next 15 weeks bring for us. I know they will be filled with a growing belly, swollen feet and fingers, and lots of aches and pains that I've never felt before. But they will also be filled with excitement, and most importantly, SO much love.
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