Eucharisteo: life-filling gratitude

{via}

When Luke and I first got married, we decided to wait at least a year until we started thinking about having babies. Then a few months passed, and we both got "the fever" {although I had it way worse}, and we decided to put our decision into more capable hands. We went with the flow and depended on God to tell us when the timing was right. And January 16, 2012, we found out that time was now – and we were well on our way to the incredible journey of bringing a new life into the world.

Since that day, I have noticed changes within myself and in Luke in the best ways possible. I follow a little less closely to the cars in front of me while I'm driving, I'm more conscious when I walk down stairs, I take clues from my body and take more time to take care of myself. I pay attention to my actions, my thoughts, my words. I try to imagine my life three months from now with a newborn and think of the mother I want to be, and it overwhelms me with joy. And fear.

The thought of being a mother is one that scares me every day. I know that raising a child, especially a daughter, is going to be a challenge, but it is one that I am 110% ready and willing to take on. I hope that some day, Marleigh and I will have the same relationship that I have with my mom – who is not only my mother, but also an integral component of my support system, and maybe most importantly, one of my best friends.

Speaking of best friends, my relationship with Luke seems to get better by the minute. Ever since the day I came home and announced that he was going to be a dad, our lives were permanently changed. I am constantly reminded of how insanely lucky and blessed I am to have him in my life – when he worries about me bringing groceries in from the car because they're "heavy" {when they're really not}, when he hears me stub my toe when I'm walking down the stairs and is legitimately concerned that I'm hurt, you name it. His protective instincts are really shining through these days, and I am so excited to see them in full force when our baby girl comes in a few months. He's already the best daddy ever, with so much love for his daughter – making her furniture for her nursery, working 50+ hours a week to provide for us, falling asleep and waking up every morning with an "I love you" to my belly. He is so good to "his girls" and it makes my heart so happy.

Last night, after we snuggled into bed after a long day and watched Marleigh wiggle around, Luke fell asleep almost instantly. I spent the next few minutes thinking about everything I am blessed with. With my husband's light snores and my baby girl having a dance party in my belly, I couldn't stop wondering what I ever did to deserve this wonderful life. I am so grateful. For my family. For Luke. For our little girl. For our little family. I couldn't possibly dream of more, and I am so happy that God decided to bless us with this huge new responsibility.

To our precious Marleigh, thank you for filling a space in our hearts we never knew existed. You are loved more than you know!